Rich Soldier: The Dirty Thirty Pledge Book 2 Page 2

  Clearing my throat, I manage to put on a smile. "I'm fine. It's a little strange, and even being out for a while doesn’t seem to make it any easier. But I’m all right…considering.”

  Charles gives me a look again. "You know, Wallace, when I said I've seen you around town, I meant it. You've been everywhere, doing a lot of different things. Doesn't seem like you've settled into any kind of routine."

  I look away, out of the loading dock where people are checking the rest of the pallets to make sure there aren't cracks in it like the last one. He’s right. I don’t have a routine. Not like I haven’t tried. Nothing seems to stick. I’ve wanted a job, but nothing’s felt right or fulfilling. I’m not a guy who’s going to wear a suit, and there are some jobs that trigger me. There’ll be something that reminds me of them. My unit. Or a smell that takes me back, and suddenly I’m in the desert, and nowhere near Tennessee.

  The fact that he’s noticed that I’m drifting is embarrassing. But there’s nothing I can do to deny it. "Routine is hard," I say. "Not everyone likes to have vets on staff. I’m lucky enough that I don’t need to work.”

  “Your bar,” he says. “Yeah, you guys have really done a good job with that. He raises an eyebrow like he's calling me on my bullshit. “But just because you have money doesn’t mean that you don’t need to work. You always struck me as someone who needed something to do.”

  I fight against the clenching of my jaw. The fact that he hasn’t seen me in years and yet has managed to pinpoint something that I have a hard time admitting to myself is uncomfortable. So I just nod.

  “Well,” he says, “I need to hire a couple more people to help with construction." He pulls the clipboard back out with a smile. "I took on too many projects, and we don't have enough people to finish on time. So if you need some work, I'd be happy to have you on.”

  The words don't exactly penetrate for a second. "You're offering me a job?"

  "If you want it," he says, the corner of his mouth tipping up into a smile.

  I don’t know why I didn’t think about this before. In high school I used to work construction over summer break. And even though I’ve been slowly working on the plans for my house, I didn’t think about trying to get a job here. If I’m here, I’ll have something to do with my time. And my hands. More importantly, I’ll be close to Tia.

  "Yes," I say, determination flowing through my body. “Absolutely. Thank you."

  Charles nods. "It's hourly, so come in sometime Monday morning. Doesn't matter what time."

  I freeze, wondering if there's something about me that screams that I'm not sleeping. Even last night after trying so hard, I woke up covered in sweat and on the verge of screaming. But maybe that's just how things work around here. Finally, a job that I might be able to keep. "Sounds good, but you don’t need to pay me.”

  He shakes his head. “Don’t be silly. We'll have you fill out the usual paperwork and then get you out to one of the sites. You used to work construction in the summertime years back, right?"

  "Yes, sir." I don't tell him it was the only job that I could find that had hours long enough to get me out of the house and away from my father. It had to do what school usually did. The construction jobs I worked let me slip back home when he was already asleep. Even if the other kids my age thought I was nuts for spending my days building houses instead of relaxing. "I'll see you Monday, then.”

  A job.

  Frankly, I'd given up looking for one, because I don’t need one to survive, and people have heard what happened at the ones before. Green Hills is funny that way. It's bigger than a small town but still everybody knows everything. Which means Charles either knows and doesn't care or he just really doesn't pay attention. Either of those things are fine with me. But still, eventually the rumors of my behavior will get back to him. Someone’s going to drive by one of the job sites and there will be a well-meaning phone call placed.

  They’ll tell him that I ended up crouching in a corner in First Shot’s kitchen because the sudden clang of a pan had me diving for cover. They’ll tell him how I was fired from Henderson’s horse ranch because of another episode. But this is who I am now. I have to own it, even if it comes back to me.

  On top of that, I'll get to see Tia again. She's made it very clear she doesn't want to talk to me, but I'm hoping that she'll change her mind. Maybe if I'm around enough she'll get used to me. She'll see that I'm not a bad guy, and that I really do just want to talk. I want to tell her why I left and why I was so scared of what we had. But either way, I'll just be happy to be near her again.

  When we were younger, by her side was where I was happiest, and there hasn't been anything in my life to change that. I don't think there will be in the future either.

  And now that I have everything, I want to give her everything. If she’ll give me the chance.

  3

  Wallace

  The First Shot bar is packed tonight. It’s a Friday, so that’s pretty typical, but I think it’s even more crowded than I’m used to. I have to hand it to Glenn. He can be an asshole, but he's a got a good head for concept and business. He’s always coming up with fresh ways to bring people in, and they work. For whatever reason, he's really got a handle on what people want from their nightlife. That, and the fact that the flagship First Shot bar is now a major tourist destination here in Green Hills, Tennessee. I don’t think there’s been a night in the past few years when there wasn’t a line out the door.

  I take a sip of my beer and look down the bar towards my friends with a little stab of jealousy. It's really not fair that they're so happy. Even though I am happy for them. But it’s a reminder of the things I don’t have, and the things I want. Unfortunately, they are things money can’t buy.

  Frankie is sitting on a stool and Annabelle is standing between his legs. They're entwined as much as two people on a bar stool can be, and it would be cute if it weren't so over the top. Glenn slams down two drinks in front of them. "Would you two get a room?"

  "Are you saying that this isn't a room, Glenn?" Annabelle asks, raising an eyebrow. Her rings glitter on her fingers, and Glenn rolls his eyes. It's barely been a month since the wedding at the courthouse and it seems like the two of them have been in non-stop honeymoon mode. Glenn is annoyed by it. I'm jealous of it. Especially thinking of earlier today and Tia’s reaction to me.

  I take another sip of my beer and smirk at Glenn. "If they actually got a room, you'd be complaining that they abandoned you and me here at the bar," I say.

  "Both can be true."

  I laugh softly, but it’s not real. I’m faking it.

  Glenn has always been an interesting person. I thought I was going to have to let him go after that whole thing with him and Frankie, but he's got his head back on straight. Mostly. I say mostly because I know the next thing that's about to come out of his mouth.

  "I'm just glad I've still got you," he says. "Two more months till your pledge, my friend."

  Taking a sip of my beer, I fight the urge to roll my eyes. I don't really want to take part in this pledge any more than Frankie did. I'm not entirely opposed either, but that depends on how the next couple of months go. I might want to drown my sorrows in an over-the top way.

  I consider for a second actually going through with it. Trying to sleep with a different woman every day for a month…and I can’t. Shit. There’s no way that I’d be able to do that. Especially if I strike out with Tia. It’s just going to make me feel worse, and way too many people know us in this town for either of us to go on that kind of tear. Plus, something whispers in the back of my mind. Even if Tia doesn’t forgive me, if she finds out about that, there will never be another chance. No fucking way I’m doing this. “Right," I say to Glenn. "You gonna sue me if I don't do it?”

  Glenn has the decency to look embarrassed. "No, I'm not gonna sue you, asshole. But as far as I can see you have no reason not to do it. You don't have a girl, you don't have..."

  He trails off, and I'm glad he does, bec
ause I don't want to hear the rest. I know what he's going to say. I don't have a girl, I don't have a job. Basically, I don't have a life. I'd like a life, but I can't seem to make myself function. Hard to function when you can barely sleep, and the lack of routine just makes that harder.

  The nightmares are as bad as they were when I came home, and the lack of sleep makes me jumpy. I've lost more than one job because I can't seem to show up on time from over-sleeping. Not that I need a job. I’ve got enough money that I never have to work another day in my life if I don’t want to. But I’ve never been an idle person, and not having anything to do seems to make everything worse.

  I could work on the house, but that means that I would have to settle on a final design, which I also can’t seem to be able to do for some fucking reason. Maybe the fact that I didn’t think that I’d be designing it by myself. I thought I’d be designing a house for two, combining what we both wanted into a perfect blend that fit us both. But that hasn’t happened. Yet. I’m gonna shoot my shot and see if I can make it. One more time.

  But now that I’ve got the job at Connor’s Contracting, maybe I’ll be able to get myself settled. That and woo Tia from afar. I can do it. I know I can. But there’s no way that I’m going to let Glenn fuck this up for me the way he almost did for Frankie. “I don’t know why you think either of us will be able to do that,” I say. “I don’t know if it’s a great look for the owners of First Shot to hit on and fuck the patrons.”

  Glenn rolls his eyes. “You know how many women come in here from out of town looking for the two of you? More than I can count. You could do dirty thirty with no problem any month of the goddamn year. They’ll throw themselves at you. Won’t even have to hit on them. It’ll be the easiest pussy you’ve ever had.”

  Annabelle leans over the bar. “I’ll make sure every girlfriend of mine stays away from this bar during your month, Glenn. I don’t need you fucking over my friends.”

  The two of them don’t have an easy relationship. They never did, but especially after the way Glenn came after Frankie last month. But they’re slowly getting better. Maybe.

  Glenn sends her an evil grin. “If all your friends are as cold as you, they don’t have to worry.”

  “I’ll think about it," I say, cutting in before they can start going at each other. Just to make sure a fight doesn’t break out. "Who knows, maybe in two months I'll get married too."

  Frankie looks over at me, coming out of the trance he's been in because of Annabelle. "You got someone in mind?"

  I shake my head no. It's a lie, but Frankie doesn't have to know that. I mean, he knows about Tia. They all do, but I haven't told them that I'm going to try again. Until today, we hadn't seen each other since the cereal incident, and that was totally intentional. But it's been three years, and the dates and one-night stands I've had since then, they've been nothing. Absolutely nothing has gotten her out of my head and the idea of what might have been if I hadn't left, or if I had asked her to wait for me. I should have just fucking asked.

  So I decided, not long after Frankie and Annabelle got married, that I'm going to do it. I'm going to try to win her back. It took me almost a month, but we’re there. I don’t even mind that it didn’t go as planned because at least I’ve taken the first step. Hell, if Frankie could win back Anna after all the shit that went down, then I have to have a chance, right?

  Back in high school, when Tia and I were together, she was one of the only good things in my life. And I loved her. People will disagree and say that someone that young can't know what love is, but we did. I loved her more than anything. If I had a choice between loving her and taking my next breath, I know what I would have chosen. Now I have all the money I could dream of, and it means nothing because I don’t have her. Everything feels empty and meaningless. And I won’t be able to move on until I know for sure.

  I have to do this, and I've been wasting enough time telling myself that we both needed time. It's a lie. We’ve needed closure, and we don’t have it. I was waiting, afraid that it will go just as badly as it did last time. But she saved me from the bricks instead of dumping them on me, so that’s a start. Enough is enough. We’ve waited too long already. And I need a game plan. But before even a game plan, I need some actual sleep.

  Sliding what's left of my beer back across the bar, I stand up and stretch. Annabelle notices first. "Leaving so early?"

  I nod. "I've got some stuff to take care of," I say. "Need to get some sleep first."

  Frankie clasps his hand in mine and Glenn gives me a wave as I head off. They don't question it, and I hope beyond hope that what I said was the truth and that I'll actually get some sleep. I miss it.

  Pulling up to my house, I'm dreading the inevitable. I'm going to go to bed and wake up in hours reliving something. Either one of the bloody battles I survived or my father's fists. Both will leave me shaken and sweating, and then I won't be able to sleep till dawn. I probably should have stayed at the bar, delaying the inevitable. But I so want to be fresh and rested for tomorrow, to feel capable and not useless.

  I promised that I would call Jerry if the nightmares got bad again, and I haven't. I feel bad about that, but he's got enough to worry about without me. The man's a force of nature running the grocery stores in town and one of the homeless shelters. He doesn't need me to add to his problems. I try to give back to him for all his kindness to me. His shelters get regular donations of money and food, and I buy all my groceries from him now—and pay. Having money does have its perks when you’re able to pay it forward.

  I walk into the little outbuilding that I’ve turned into an apartment. I’ve been living here for a while, since I tore the house down and decided to rebuild. But it’s taken so long that this has come to seem like home now. It’s small, but I don’t mind it.

  In the kitchen I toss back a full glass of water before trudging down the hall and undressing. I was tired when I left the bar, and now I feel restless and anxious. I don't want to close my eyes. And so I flip my thoughts to Tia and tomorrow. But that's something that's full of anxiety too. So I throw my mind back. Back to that day.

  It was a cool summer evening, and I already decided that I was sneaking out of my house. I successfully avoided my father and climbed out the window before he could ask me what I was doing and where I was going and decide that my answers weren't good enough for him. I took a blanket with me, and in my backpack I had bottle of whisky I slipped from the cabinet full of them. I rolled my bike to the end of the lane and took off. And stupidly, hopefully, I stopped by the convenience store on the edge of town and bought condoms. I didn't want to assume, but I also didn't want to be unprepared in case anything happened.

  On the outside, the night wasn't anything special. But when I entered the park and saw Tia waiting for me there on one of the benches, looking up at the rising moon, I thought that I was going to explode. She was everything. I'd never felt anything like that before, this all-consuming obsession. And more than that, a deep feeling of rightness and belonging. She was it. There’d never be anyone else that made me feel this way. Never.

  "Hi," she breathed as I dismounted, and I didn't say anything back as I pulled her off the bench and kissed her. I liked the way her body molded against mine, so different and soft. I like the way her lips tasted like cherries, and I liked that little sound that she made when I took her by surprise. I liked how my body reacted to hers, instantly hard with need, like a confirmation of what my heart and soul already felt, even though we hadn't gone there yet. Neither of us had gone there with anyone yet.

  "Hi," I finally said when I had to pull back for a breath.

  Her soft giggle was enough to undo me. "Come on." She pulled me along and I rolled my bike with her deeper into the park, where the shadows were longer and there would be less of a chance of being seen. We weren't trying hard to keep a secret, but we both preferred the privacy. And I knew that if my father ever found out that I'd been sneaking out of his house to meet a girl that there would
be hell to pay. Not that I was going to tell Tia that. She already worried about me, and I wasn’t going to add to that.

  When we reached our destination—a clearing in the middle of some pine trees, open to the sky—I pulled the blanket from my backpack and spread it on the ground, and then I pulled out the whiskey. "Just in case," I said. "No pressure."

  Tia raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to get me drunk, Wallace?"

  I swallowed. "No, that's not what I meant—"

  "I'm kidding," she said with a smile and a laugh. "I'll have a little bit. It'll keep me warm."

  "I can do that too," I said as we sat down and she tucked herself between my legs. The moon and stars were bright, and it honestly didn't feel like we were missing anything in the dark. I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her close. She smelled like flowers. I was hard as a rock, and there was nothing I wanted more than to venture into new territory with her. But I wasn't going to rush it. If she wanted to, we would. If she didn't, then I'd be happy anyway, right there. Whenever I was with her, was the most peace that I'd ever felt in my life, and I didn't want it to end. No matter what.

  "I missed you," she said, sighing and relaxing into me.

  We'd seen each other at school earlier that day. So the fact that she'd missed me in that little time gave me a warm feeling in my chest. "I missed you, too."

  More than ever. My dad was already drunk by the time I got home—five minutes late. And telling him that there'd been a little extra traffic on the way home from school hadn't stopped his anger. I'd barely escaped a beating. Not that that wouldn't be normal. Only a few months left till graduation, and I wouldn’t have to be in that house anymore. I'd be at bootcamp.

  "Hey," Tia said, "where'd you go?"